Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
