I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
