just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
