hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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