You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize