Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
