It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
