Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize