My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
