i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
