..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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