You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
