im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
