I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're a waste of cheezeits
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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