i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
