I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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