and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
