this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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