My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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