East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
