Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
