Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
More tranny stories later!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
