If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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