he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
