not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize