yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
