and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize