We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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