This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
