I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
