Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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