her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
