You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
