Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
