dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
