i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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