im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
