? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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