He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
