Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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