Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
