He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize