so explain again why im purple
no
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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