He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
