I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
