he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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