We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
