I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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