Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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