I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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