i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
