why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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