meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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