"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
