i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
