We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
