the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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