even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
