I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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