He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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