your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
